So I’ve got a rather large project percolating in my brain. It’s been percolating long enough that I actually put together a solid proposal and submitted it to the AGA for the 2017 Biennial of Contemporary Art.
And now I’m kind of freaking out.
Now I’m not afraid of being rejected. As an artist I’ve felt plenty of that already. I’m freaking out because it’s such a big, personal project, nothing like I’ve ever done before. I’m scared I won’t be able to make it live up to the vision I’ve created in my mind.
It’s personal in the sense that I have never delved so deeply into my faith before as inspiration for my paintings. I’ve only ever skipped along the surface of it, not doing it any justice. This project feels bigger than myself, like I can only complete it through the grace of God.
That’s not a bad attitude to have, though. I’m only here by the grace of God. I paint with the talent He has given me, and only He has given me every blessing in my life. I want to give everything I have right back to God in praise to Him. I am His.
So I might be accepted. I might be rejected. In any case, I feel like this is a good path to start on. I will still have butterflies when I open any correspondence from the AGA until I know for sure, but I think I’ll still get started on this big project anyways. But not for me. For God.
Its never easy to move outside of our comfort zone wven so far that we can’t see the top of our much loved zone. But He has told that He would never leave us nor forsake us. All we have to do is be obedient and trust. Even if it means to be in unfamiliar territory—He’s there too!!!