A new year brings with it a time of reflection on the past. 2012 was certainly a year of ups and downs.

Ups: My best friend married her best friend. My son has grown (and continues to grow) in leaps and bounds. My mother has gone through a successful chemotherapy protocol. My husband is starting to get his own business off the ground. I volunteered with the City of Fort Saskatchewan and showed off my artistic skills for a series of promotional videos. I completed a commission for my MLA for her local constituency office.

Downs: Not many, but one doozy. In late November I landed in the ER at the local hospital. I was almost 10 weeks pregnant at the time. Unfortunately, I lost my baby.

I have been riding a roller coaster of emotions since that day. There are times when I am praising God for the short time I had with my baby, that I am still healthy, and for the wide network of support He has given me. Other days are not so great, and I lean harder on Him and that support network. I have struggled artistically, not wanting to taint any works in progress with my sorrows, and not wanting to start any new works that would simply remind me of my struggles. I’ve been writing a lot, as a form of catharsis, until I feel ready to step into the studio again.

The new year is also a time to look forward to the upcoming year. A friend posted a fitting quote today on Instagram.

I find that I have hopes and make plans for the future, but I never get off my duff and do anything to achieve my goals. There are two solutions to this problem: Either stop making plans and having goals, or DO SOMETHING for goodness’ sake.

So, I’m doing something.

Though I haven’t produced anything in the studio since my miscarriage, I have been working on the business end of things. I finally have something close to a workable artist statement. I visited my favourite art store last week to pick up a few new tools for when I do get back into the swing of things.I’m gathering a list of galleries and shows to apply to.

When I finally find the time to breathe after putting all the Christmas decorations away and celebrating my son’s second birthday(!!!!), I’ll venture back into the studio and pick up a brush again. And I will live in the present, so I can have the future I want.